She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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