You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
4 words: hood of his car
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize