He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I looked at my own cervix.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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