I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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