Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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