sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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