all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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