wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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