Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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