I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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