I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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