I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize