all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize