I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
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i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Someone came in the potted fern
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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