I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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