oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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