why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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