it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
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You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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