So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
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btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
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He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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