hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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