Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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