Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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