how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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