I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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