Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize