apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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