Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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