so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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