i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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