Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just saw a hot homeless man
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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