I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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