I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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