There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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