the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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