I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize