I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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