You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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