youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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