i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize