I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
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apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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