New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize