apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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