It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
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Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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