she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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