I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
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Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
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purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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