She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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