...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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