I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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