We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
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