No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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