how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
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I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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